Road Map to a New and Improved Mother-Daughter Relationship!

Okay, let’s get straight to the point! Mother-Daughter relationships are so important

to developing happy, healthy, stable young ladies, but in all honesty, no one has the perfect relationship with their mom, or better yet, either of their parents. During the teenage years, teens are more concerned with uncovering their true selves, finding new interests/hobbies, and living that stereotypical wild, free teenage lifestyle, but there’s always an overprotective, (sometimes) irrational parent over your shoulder saying, “oh no you don’t!” With them around, living autonomously becomes quite a challenge – and this is also where that strain on mother-daughter relationships begins.

In high school and my first year of college, I had a couple of friends who suffered under the reigns of an overprotective mother. Their moms were so stuck on preserving their innocent, precious daughters that the girls had nearly no freedom at all and ultimately despised living under their mother’s roof. Luckily, they had a friend like me to teach them how to loosen their mothers’ reigns and mend their broken mother-daughter relationships.

Want to build a better Mother-Daughter Relationship? Here’s a few steps:

Follow her rules

Of course, Mom is not going to allow you to go to every party, wear that dress, or leave the house before finishing your chores, but trust me, do as she says. FOLLOW HER RULES! We can find a loophole in this part later.

Establish trust

By following Mom’s rules, there will be less arguing between you two, and you will begin to establish trust with her. Trust is EVERYTHING guys, so this is the most important step! Once mom trusts that you will do as she says, she’ll be sure to give you more privileges, like leaving the house with little questions asked, a later curfew, and maybe even cash gifts or other rewards. Basically, she’ll be more willing to grant you more freedom because she trusts that you will go where she gives you permission to be and return at the time that she says. (And this is where the loophole comes in.) Take those privileges how you want, but just be sure not to lose her trust because if so, back to square 1 we go.

Talk to your mother

The “establishing trust” step goes both ways – while you’re gaining mom’s trust by following her rules, the two of you will establish a more peaceful relationship, and you will also begin to trust her. Of course, trust takes time to build though, so talk to your mother! Begin with little things like how your day at work went. Then, as you begin to feel more comfortable, progress to telling her about the problems you’re having with your best friends, or feelings you have for this new guy. The further the trust goes, the more you’ll feel like your mom is becoming your best friend, your diary, your confidant, all of those great things! Oh, and trust me, getting the perspective from someone other than your friends is SO helpful and eye-opening!

Quality time

Getting out of the house and having mom all to yourself allows for a better environment to help with step 3. When I’m around other people, I’m not able to express all the things I want or talk to my mom about certain topics. For that reason, I cherish those moments when we’re away from other family members. With just mom around, I can empty my brain of all the burning questions, stories, emotions, or anything else that I would like for her to know. Personally, I like to go out to eat, shop, or simply run errands with my mom to get that quality time. Also, doing DIY projects around the house suffices too; painting, yard work, and redecorating/rearranging are other great ideas for bonding time.

Don’t be afraid to show your mom you love her!

There’s nothing like a mom knowing that she’s loved and appreciated. Tell her! Hug her! Simple gifts, whether it’s lotion from Bath and Body Works or even cooking dinner for the night, work wonders too. This step is a sure way to put the seal on your new and improved mother-daughter relationship, believe me! Oh, and don’t forget to say “I love you!” You never notice how much those words mean until you don’t hear them anymore, so don’t take that for granted.

Greetings! My name is Ciarra Haney and I’m a second-year student at the University of Georgia. I am from Atlanta, GA, but currently in Athens pursuing studies in Psychology Pre-Med, for I aspire to become a Pediatrician later in life. Some of my hobbies include doing activities with family and friends, singing, listening to music, & writing. Although writing is one of my hobbies, I haven't spent much time with it, so I look forward to using the Positivity Project blog to do so. Also, I have a passion for speaking to and helping those who are younger than me to follow in my footsteps or achieve even more than I have. I enjoy sharing my knowledge, mentoring, and lending advice to other young ladies to help them better navigate this game of life and show them that they are capable of overcoming obstacles and achieving more.

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